Cirque de Dark Woods
by DemiSkull
Summary: What really happens behind the scenes of the Dark Woods Circus? Review much appreciated :D
1. Welcome, Welcome to Dark Woods Circus

** This is going to be fun... VERY fun :D The review button is lonely... poke him :D ? **

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><p><em>Oh…. It's recording isn't it? Here we go… <em>

It wasn't that bad having one body.

I mean two heads are better than one right? The only problem is that he got the right hand and I got the left. Unlike Len, I'm not ambidextrous, so I smash things around A LOT. Kaito got mad at me the other day just because I accidentally smashed his frozen treat into the ground._ Who the hell eats ice cream every day for breakfast, lunch and dinner anyways?_

Hey, it wasn't my fault was it? Blame Master for sewing me with only my left arm. Seriously though, who takes a pair of twins, and sews them together with only one pair of arms and legs? It'd be more sensible if we could have….. Maybe four arms? Master could have sewn us onto the road roller at least. _Then we'd be able to squish people again…_

Today I woke up with Len's face really, really close.

I mean less than a pinky finger close.

Of course, I did the most obvious thing. I screamed and tried to push him away. My one arm didn't help AT ALL. Len woke up at that point_. Aw, come on, YOU try waking up one morning to someone's face. What do you mean you have to wake up every morning to my face? Well you know what? GO EAT ONE OF YOUR BANANAS. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T? JUST WALK OVE- oh. _

_Geez… … I'm still getting used to this. Hey! What do you think you're doing? FIN-* fzzt* _

_*Ahem* _Um…. Hi! Len here! Hehe…..sorry about that ….. She can be a littl - _OW WHAT was that for?HEY IT'S THE TRUTH! Anyways…. _

Welcome to Dark Woods Circus Theatre! I hope you enjoy the… _Rin! NO! Not the ear! No no no no no no no NO! *fzzt* _

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><p><strong>:D <strong>


	2. It took two surgeries to get it out

HI guys :d Heres chapter two :D

They're kinda short... really... I promise the next one is going to be longer :D

:D Press the review button... u know want to.

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><p>GOOD MORNINGAFTERNNOON/EVENING PEOPLE! KAGAMINE RIN HERE! NUMBER ONE HEAD/TWIN AT YOUR SERVICE! _…._

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_*Smack* Your turn baka! _

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Um… Number Tw- _hey, why am I number two? *smack* okay! Okay fine! _….. N- number t-two head here, Kagamine Len r-r-reporting! Heh…. Um.. Welcome to… Chapter 2 here!

All right… um 3, 2, 1 here we go… heh….._*smack* Augggghhhhhh….. _

Kagamine Len's POV

Being attached to Rin wasn't that bad after all…. At least she couldn't punch me in the stomach anymore without both of us rolling on the ground in pain. I think she considers me as more of her back-up head. Like, you know a spare hard drive, or disc or something. …. She can be so stubborn at times. But I guess that's just her way of expressing herself.

As I said… It wasn't as bad as the tim….. well…. You'd better read it for yourself. I guess ...

*cue flash back* () (before Dark Woods Circus)

"LEEEEEEENNNNNNN!" the house rumbled under the powerful sound. It was ironic that the sound wave had started from the mouth of a small_….. ahem…. Flat-chested _blond girl no bigger than the age of 14. And where was I?

In our room

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With the last orange in the house ( Miku kept buying tons of smelly green leeks because she got sidetracked in the grocery store. How in the world you eat those things, I shall never know.)

The shout came again "LEEEENNNNN! DID YOU SEE MY ORRANNGGGEEEEEeeeeeeee?"

_Oh banana sticks….._

I swear my heart was doing 1000 km/hr when she yelled like that. I was sitting with my back to the door, hoping that she wouldn't kick it in or anything. She didn't. She turned the doorknob.

"Awwwwerrrgghhh" In the "_last"_ moments of my life, I forgot that the door opened outwards….

_Yes, yes you can all point your fingers at me and laugh. I don't have feelings. _

When I opened my eyes a few seconds later, Rin was standing directly above me. The orange had bounced off her foot, landing beside my head. I had this obscure feeling that she was going to kill me. Soon. Very soon.

_OH god. Oh God Um…. Distraction! That's it! Find a distraction and run for it! Ahahaha I'm so smart! . _

I cleared my throat. "Rin?"

"Yes? " She looked at me, smiling creepily all the while. I smirked. _Time to put my plan in motion._

" I c-can see your panties…" _…. Hah! That's what you get for wearing short shorts all the time! Wait what? Oh shit!I'm officially screwed. What kind of distraction was that? I'm gonna have "Pervert Len" on my grave stone now…_

…_. Oh gawdohgodohkami….. I'mscrewedI'mscrewedomaigawdI'm so dead. _

To my surprise, she flushed bright red. It was as if the thought had completely frozen her brain. I took that time to get on all fours and crawl the hell away.

Unfortunately, to my demise, she recovered too fast.

The next thing I knew, I was pounced on and flipped over like one of those beetles. Here comes the end. I shut my eyes tightly. Good bye, cruel world!

There was a sudden but familiar weight on my stomach. Oh God. I flailed my arms, but to no avail. _Where's the part where the hero comes in and saves me from the evil clutches of Rin! It better not be Gakupo on an eggplant horse this time. … _

Nobody came to save me. They were all out. Some friends they were.

I cracked open one of my eyes. Rin was staring down at me ….., still smiling creepily.

"Leeennnn?"

Oh kami, it was the You're- going- to- be- dead-in-a-couple-of-minutes-drawl.

I gulped.

"Yes Rin?"

She very suddenly reached behind her back to reveal a leek. Where the bananas did she take that out of?

"Guess where this is going… " She smirked at me, showing malice in those blue eyes of hers.

"Um…. In my stomach?"

"Wrong!" I cringed.

She then proceeded to shove the leek somewhere very painful. Very, very painful.

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Let's just say it took the doctors two surgeries to take out. Then again, let us also conclude that Miku did not touch another leek. (For a few hours at the most.)

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I swear that thing was shoved up my nose pretty tightly. I'm just glad she didn't shove it anywhere else.

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In in my ear, for instance.

Anyways, that pretty much sums up my part.

"_Len!" _

"_Yes?" _

"_Guess what I'm going to do with this banana?" _

"_No! Don't you- AGGGGGHHHH"_

"_Hello all of you! Miku here! Due to a technical issue, the show has been cut short. Tune in next time!" _

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><p><em>Aww... rin's kinda mean :d <em>

_Caught all of you dirty minded people :d AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH _

_;D _


	3. Handing Out Spam

**Im actually a procrastinator; and an Artist. So I trollcrastinate.**

**Im sorry D:**

**But its HERE! I GOT OUT OF BED :D NO MORE JET LAG :D**

**You know what.. just read the dang thing :D**

**I'll be quiet now :P**

**Promise :P**

**P.S. This begins a plotline :D jk . Notice how I lazily changed styles. Im sorry.**

Edit: went back and proofread... I think Im losing my touch. D:

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><p><strong>Point of View: Rin<strong>

I watched Miku weave in and out of the trees. She was as graceful as a flopping tuna freshly caught out of the sea (I believe Luka would like that.) Correction. Ahem; she was as graceful as a thousand elephants in a lobster shack. I followed the energetic leek- lover (ooooooo a tongue twister) as her lower (deer) half carried her into ditches.

We were sitting on the benches that occupied most of the ground in front of the stage. I gazed off into the forest, while Len slept soundly, his head resting on my shoulder. There was a sudden gust of wind to my right. The bluish? Tealish? Green haired? Girl appeared to stand right next to me. I sighed, causing Len to mumble as his position on my shoulder was shifted.

"Heeeeeeeeeyyyyyy guyssss!" Miku rasped, "Watch this!"

I sighed again, knowing that she would never leave us in peace.

" 'Kay, do it." I told her. She giggled, twirled, and proceeded to trip over a tree root. Next to me, Len furrowed his brow at the impact. (I thought he was asleep). I poked a finger into the flesh of his cheek. He snorted. (Eeeeew. I hope he's not drooling.)

"Okay! One more time!" I looked up. The leek-lover twirled, jump high in the air, and managed somehow to land on Kaito.

I applied my hand to my face.

Kaito yelped.

Len woke up and attempted to eat my hand.

I slapped him with my free one.

He squirmed, causing the both of us to fall off the bench.

Chaos ensued.

Nonetheless, it was probably the most exciting thing that happened that morning. The fun ended when the Kaito/Miku heap rolled into the stage tent, causing it to collapse.

Haku and Neru, whom the Master put in charge of the DWC Camp sent us all to do "time". (Meaning punishment of some sort)

Don't ask me why Master put a drunk depressionist (It is now a word; use it, impress your friends or something.) and a texting addict in charge. All I know is that they sent Len and I to hand out flyers for the DWC Camp.

~In Town~

We stood among the crowd, almost hidden, handing out flyers that people were probably burn. Or trash. Or both.

"Len..." I began.

"Yes?" He finished handing out a flyer to a small girl from the huge pile beside us. The girl ran off.

"Please remind me why we're here again."

"Because Neru said so?"

I took my index finger and poked it into the middle of his forehead. He yelped.

"Hey! What was that for!"

"No, I meant what were we supposed to be doing again while we hand out this crap? Neru mentioned something but I didn't catch it."

"She told us to act like bananas."

I jabbed his face.

"AUugghh!" Half of the crowd around us screamed in fright. Whoops.

Len grabbed his face in pain.

"Shush Len, bananas aren't supposed to talk."

"I was joking!"

"I know."

"What the hell! Fine! You win! I'll get you next time!"

"Len... we're attached to each other. Physcially. So techincally, you can "get me" because-"

"Aww... shut up." He fumed, turning his head away from me. I smirked. All the while we dully handed out flyers.

A woman pushed her way through the crowd. I spotted her at once. She always stood out in a crowd.

"Meiko!" I called, "Over here!"

She strode over, her barely covered legs causing random spurts of red in the grey sea of people.

"Hi kids! How's it coming along?"

"Pretty good. Did Neru tell you to check up on us or something?" I asked.

"That texting kid? Nah. Snuck out here on my own." She smiled.

Len turned his face and looked at her. She stared creepily back at him, until Len's pupils dilated.

"What?" Len asked me timidly. "What did I do to deserve a rape face from her?"

"Everything." I said, turning my head to stare closely into his wide eyes. He gave a small whimper. (Did I ever mention that teasing Len was fun? You should try it some time :3)

I grinned. Meiko laughed heartily.

"Anyways," Meiko said. "I wanted to check how you guys were doing. We're gonna need a lot of customers this week. Kaito's so desperate for ice cream he ate the exhibit."

"Lemme guess... The ice fortress?"

"Yup."

Len piped in.

"Then we can build one outta bananas!"

We ignored him.

"You guys are mean." Pouting, he turned away again.

"Well then. I have to get going kids, don't wanna be late for you-know-what." She started to turn away, her red dress flowing behind her.

I smiled at her retreating back, then stared at the diminishing pile of spam next to me. (I'm not kidding just read this stuff. I bet Master got Haku to make it when she was drunk.)

Meiko turned sharply, did a 180 spin and turned to face me one more time.

"Oh yeah! Rin!" she called, her voice clear above the general noise of the passing people.

"Yea?"

"Do that acting thing you're supposedly famous for! I wanna see it!"

"Sure!"

I closed my eyes, breathing in deeply. Then I began.

"Oh! THE DEFORMITY!" I hissed, scaring half of the kids in front of me. (Oh god, did that one just-). I rolled my eyes to show their whites. I flailed my arms wildly. (Excuse me, my arm.) Len winced. The rest of the kids screamed and ran stupidly in circles. (Huh. I still have it in me. That's good.)

Meiko gave me a huge thumbs up.

"You're doing great kid! Might see you in Holly Wood someday!" she boomed.

I watched her disappear into the sea of grey, grinning.

"Rin." Len growled.

"Yes?" I replied, turning to face the other half of my body.

"You said you didn't know what Neru told you to do earlier."

"I lied."

"You suck."

"I love you too, bro."

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><p>Instead of creepily staring at the button, press it. You know unicorns, rainbows and shit lie beyond. :P<p> 


	4. Up the nose The Incident pt1

**Hi guys! :d Im back again. Sorry for the stupidly long update *kills self* **

**Anyway Im doing a little story Arc which (humorously) explains the Vocaloids before and after they get "accidentally" get mutated and turn into the characters of Dark Wood Circus... so **

**Enjoy :D **

**And to keep that little button down there from being forever alone, stroke him :d .**

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**P.S. **

**Stupid School. :I**

**P.S.S **

**Stupid physics :I **

**I can fly if I wanna. Screw gravity :D *flies off* **

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><p><em>They held me down and made me watch her. <em>

_All of it. _

_They.. they tore her body in half. I screamed and refused to look, but they pried my eyes open. _

_I watched as they painted the room red with her life. _

_And I was next. _

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"Alright! I think we're done here!" yelled a voice. "It's a wrap guys! Take five!"

Glaring spotlights cut into my eyes.

_AGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH. My retinas D: They BURRRRRNNNN. _

My assailants got off of me, and I stood up on the cold concrete floor of the set, my retinas still swimming with burning after-images.

_Heh. At least I don't sparkle in the sunlight. _

There was a throbbing pain in my arm. I looked down and winced at the red burn on my arm.

"God, Kaiittttoooooo.." I hissed at the blue-haired person that had pinned my arm down. The other person, Gakupo was already gone from the set.

_Where? I had a hunch he had gone to water his eggplant horse. Don't ask me about that thing. I still have no Idea how it lives. _

I glared at The blue-haired ice-cream eating freak.

"What?" He looked at me; half of his face was already smothered in an unknown flavour of ice cream that had mysteriously appeared out of thin air.

_I have no idea where he hides those things and I don't plan to find out... _

"You know what...?" I sighed, running my hand through my yellow bangs.

"What?" He tilted his head to the side, making the ice cream streak melted trails down his face and fall off in globules on the floor.

_Insert loss of 20 IQ points here. _

" Never mind" I said, walking away.

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I strode over to where the my disembowelled twin lay.

"You comfortable?" I joked. I trailed my eyes over to where half of her body lay spewed across the table.

_Hah. Its just props Len. Nothing to be afraid of. Ha aha ahahaha. That's one realistic liver. Haha. Liver..._

"Nice rib cage you got there. And I love how you've draped your intestines across your waist."

"Huh. Thanks. " She stared up at me. " For some odd reason, I can't feel the left side of my body."

Rin wriggled on the table, smiling as more fake guts and blood came pouring out on to the steel table. I felt slightly queasy.

" Anyway..." I cleared my throat, averting my eyes from the gore. "Everyone's waiting for us in the cafeteria."

She nodded, proceeding to sit up, fully intact.

"By the way, Len..,"

"Yes?"

"I can't believe that these are real organs, I mean they were preserved and stuff. Really they don't smell like... Len?"

I recalled having a nice nap after that.

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Someone woke me up by stuffing a hard yellow object up my nose.

_O MAI GAWD I STILL HAVEN'T RECOVERED FROM THE LAST ITEM SHOVED UP THERE. _

_RINNNN IMM GOING TO KILLLLlll yyooooouuuuu..._

Strangely enough, I could still hear their voices even through the haziness of my brain.

"He's not waking up~" Miku sang.

"Should I put the other banana in too?" That was definitely Rin.

"DOOOOO ITTTT... "drawled Meiko. I was certain she was obnoxiously drunk.

I decided, on behalf of my nostrils to stop them. I opened my mouth.

"Rrri..."

*thop*

**Inside Len's brain **

_! _

_MY NOSTRILS! _

_I-I can' t... _

_I CAN'T BREATHE! IM SUFFOCATING ON MY FAVOURITE FRUIT!. _

_O GOD WHY ME! _

_O GOD THE BANANAS ARE TICKING MY NOSE _

_AGGH- *SNEEzE* _

_I- I can *SNEEZE* see the headlines *SNEEZE* now! _

_"Boy *Sneeze* DIES FR- *SNEEZE* STICKING BANA-*Sneeze* up nose!" _

**Out side of Len's brain  
><strong>

" Well there's a reaction" Kaito murmured, leaning over Rin.

"Well, I don't know. He's just sneezing and rolling around on the floor... Maybe I should place an orange in his mouth, and leeks in his ears. "Rin smirked mischievously.

"That's what she said~ " Miku sang, twirling her hair around.

Luka, who had been in a corner watching the commotion, applied her hand to her face.

She then turned and attempted to contemplate the colour of the pink wall behind her.

Meiko laughed heartily, and took a giant swig out of her never-empty bottle. She draped an arm around Kaito's neck and with two fingers, starting pouring the alcoholic beverage down his throat.

Kaito's burbling screams joined with Len's.

"Anyways..." Rin continued, to the unhearing ears of Len. "Here's an orange for good luck~"

She smiled evilly.

**Inside Len's brain **

WAAAAAAAahhhhh I don't wanna die! I 'm too young!

**(A/N)- I've tried counting how many times Len dies, but I haven't been successful yet) **

Wait...

How in the world am I still alive then?

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My nose hurts.

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><p><strong>And so ends part one :D <strong>

**Im sorry for abusing Len... its just that I like Rin better... slightly...**

**And about Vocaloid 3...**

**Lui Hibiki is like a direct descendant of Len. I have this feeling that he's gonna die tragically too. Alot. **

**In terms of saying his name in English .. its Hikibi Lui. **

**. I think people are still getting confused. **

**And he shares my last name**

**Cuz my Last name is Lui... I feel weird **

**Enough of my rambling just click on that little button. Do it. :D **


	5. Ze Contract

Blergh... I'm so busy D: Art & everytthing blergh

Sorry for the super - ultra long update...

;A:

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><p>Part 2<p>

"Cut!" the director yelled.

I winced, removing my hand from the cold surface of the mirror (more like a window) in front of me. On the other side of the mirror, Rin took something quickly out of her pocket. I looked at her quizzically, but she sent me a cold glare.

"Len!" The director yelled, making me wince again.

"Yes, sir?" I turned to face him.

"I know this is the first time shooting Adolescence, but, try to make it so you express a sense of longing."

I groaned, turning to look back at my twin, who was currently violating the surface of the mirror with a thick black sharpie.

"B-but," I protested, " I have no attraction to her..."

A single black sharpie sailed through the air and landed in the side of my head, creating a dent in my skull.

Rotating my head 20 degrees to the left, I met a look that would have burned the clothes off my back.

_*Ahem* Len here: Correction. A face that only a rock could lov- *whomp* aaawwwooou. _

The director's voice cut back in again.

" Well, we'll give it another try. Alright! Places everyone!"\

Taking a deep breath, I replaced my hand on the mirror and faced Rin, who in an instant, burst out laughing.

I gave her one of my best frowns, which send her into a red-face laughing fit on the floor.

It was around this time that I looked up to see the surface of the mirror.

_Ah. _

In the place where my face could be seen on the other side of the mirror, Rin had drawn a mustache, a monocle and top hat with the sharpie.

I smiled.

_Why that litt- _

Rin, noticing my look, stopped laughing abruptly and began to attempt to sneak away from the stage.

Meanwhile, in the back, the director watched the twins with a bored expression on his face.

_There goes another prop. I swear, Rin or some other Vocaloid breaks one almost every day. The other day Kaito fell into the turbines of Rin's Meltdown set. I'm so glad that it doesn't come out of my paychecks. _

Just then, a conveniently-timed stuntman ran up to the director.

"Hey director!"

The director groaned.

_Oh karma. How you tease me. _

**Back on the set **

I watched slowly as Rin slowly crawled backwards. I smiled even wider. Reaching down to the carpeted floor, I picked up the sharpie and uncapped it. There was a slight pause as she smiled weakly at me.

"H-Hi!" she stuttered, standing up and backing up even faster.

Then she screamed, turned, and ran out of the set.

I ran after her, laughing manically.

Rin was later found tied to the ceiling, with a permanent marker mustache and a matching monocle.

_Subsequently, a few weeks later,….. _

We stood in front of the Composer in a crooked semi-circle. While he was going on and on about how Kaito had frozen himself in the pool the other day (He claimed he was only trying to fabricate a pool-sized popsicle) , and how we needed to keep a careful eye on him. Same old, same old.

Right on cue, the Composer pulled out some papers out of a unspecified paper bag and handed it to us. I took it and squinted at the title. _Dark Woods Circus. _Huh.

Over to my right, Rin grabbed her ridiculously large sharpie pen and with a flourish, signed her name in a messy scrawl all over the page.

"Did you even read the thing?" I asked her, in mocked surprise. She hmphed at me, turned her nose upward and said

"Course not. What do you think I am? Some kinda idiot?"

At this point I had to refrain from laughing, so I took out my own pen and signed the sheet. When the Composer collected all the forms, an evil smile appeared on her face. Her hand swooped forward and snatched up all the papers, leaving me with a paper cut.

"Well then, shall we start?" She signaled to the people clad in black that had somehow mysteriously appeared in the room.

_Wait….. Start! START WHAT… ! WHATS HAPPENING! _

"What's this!" I screamed, struggling against my oppressor.

"Oh this? It's in the contract. " she smiled at us as the guards dragged us into the shadows.

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><p>Well... I think you know what happens next ...<p>

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lol

(._.) =} *table frip*


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